~I Can't Love Him~

~Author's P.O.V~

It's been 5 years since the two busy idols been dating. Still media never found out and they both were perfectly living life in secret.

Today was the day that Bora was awaiting all year. Today marked their 5th anniversary. Bora would plan despite being busy with her schedules. She had to plan however she was always so confused on what she would do. She would be worried if Mark would like it or not.

There she sat in the changing room as she continued to jot down ideas onto her small notebook.

"You guys will be up next after EXO who are currently on." The producer said before leaving the room. All the three girls were stretching as they were getting ready to go on stage.

"Ya Bora, put that down and warm up." Hyorin scolded.

"Huh? U-Uh yeah." Bora quickly jot down another idea for her anniversary. She smiled as she stood up and started stretching happily. Today they were going on Inkigayo and she felt so happy because Mark was there too.

"Alright girls go on standby." The producer came back and spoke. All nod their heads as they happily skipped towards the back of the stage. Bora was happily jumping on spot as she kept glancing around hoping she would get a glance of Mark before she went on but nothing.

"10 more minutes." The producer said.

"Ne!!!~" The girls shouted in unison.

"Nervous?" Dasom asked excitedly.

"Ani, I'm actually excited." Bora beamed earning a chuckle from the latter.

"Oh look." Soyou pointed towards a direction specifically speaking to Bora. She furrowed her eyebrows as she turned and there he stood handsomely. He waved happily with his cute smile. Bora chuckled as she waved at him.

"Hwaiting!" Mark mouthed out as he put both his fist in front of him signally a fighting positing.

"Mm." Bora nodded with a huge smile.

"Next up is... Sistar!~" The MC happily announced. Bora took a deep breathe before they all walked up onto the stage.

***

"Gamsahambnida!!!~"

"Saranghaeyo!!!!~"

"I love you guys!!!!~"

"Bye Bye!!!~"

All four girls gave their goodbyes as they walked off stage. Got7 waited as they were going to go up next.

"You guys did amazing!" BamBam sweetly smiled at them earning thanks.

"Good job!" Jackson shouted happily. As Bora was about to pass Mark they both glanced at each other with knowing smiles.

"Hwaiting!" Bora mouthed earning a chuckle from the latter.

***

"Alright so that was mostly all of the performers right?"

"Ne that was all and now it's time to present the winner of Inkigayo today."

"Alright, today's winner is..."

"Got7!!!~ Congratulations!!!!!~"

Got7 then came and bowed to all the fans and gave their thanks.

"Anything to say leader?" One of the MC gave the microphone to JB.

"Ah~ I just wanted to say thank you to all our fans out there for helping us get this win. You guys are really amazing and I just can't be more grateful. Gamsahambnida!!!!~ Saranghaja!!!!" JB shouted happily earning shouts from the crowd.

"Thank you guys for everything!!!! I-Got7 saranghaja!!!!!!~" Mark shouted with his charming smile. Their song 'A' then came on as all the idols congratulated Got7 and walked off the stage.

"Congrats!!!" Bora told Mark as he sweetly smiled at her before she walked off and Got7 stayed dancing with their music playing.

***

When Bora got back in their changing room, Bora immediately grabbed the note she wrote for Mark and ran out the room straight towards Got7's changing room. Peeking her head inside no one was there so she quietly and secretly walked in.

Bora quickly went over to Mark's bag and slipped the note inside before leaving the room without any trace. Entering her room all the girls were already done getting ready to leave.

"Ya, where did you go? Balliwa we need to take Soyoun and Dasom to their radio thingy." Hyorin scolded Bora as she bitterly smiled before gathering her things.



*



"Manager oppa can we leave now?" Bora asked as she was wearing leggings with a hoodie that Mark gave her long ago.

"Mm, I'll wait near the company so when it's over call me." He whispered as both set off to JYP Entertainment.

***

Bora stood on the rooftop of JYP waiting for Mark to come. She already set a small table with food she packed and her present she was dying to give Mark to see his reaction. She continued walking back and forth staring at the entrance of the rooftop from time to time.

7:35pm.

She continued to wait. She would sit down then stand up and start walking back and forth again.

8:50pm.

Still nothing, Bora was slowly started to get cold as she felt the chilly breeze brush against her skin.

9:57pm.

Bora felt a total pang towards her heart when she have been waiting for Mark 3 and a half hours straight. Sighing in defeat from the coldness and the long wait she was about to leave until her phone rang. Her eyes brighten.

"Mar-" She was cut off when she heard her manager's voice.

"Hey, it's getting late. Let's go, you have a fan sign meeting tomorrow early in the morning." He softly spoke.

"N-Ne oppa." She sadly replied before she glanced back at the table before heaving a sigh and leaving without even caring about the present.

***

She entered the main floor and was about to escape to the exit at the back until she stopped. That familiar voice hit her like a slap in the face.

She slowly turned her head as she felt her whole world shatter. There sitting at a small round table sat the love of her life, Mark. Along with a girl sitting across. Both happily laughed together as Bora stood there with flowing tears streaming down her face.

She quickly turned away as she stomped out the exit. After seeing that she immediately thought Mark been cheating on her all through the years they been together. She felt betrayed, hurt, and angry. She felt so many different emotions right now that she felt like screaming right now.

When she saw her van door open she quickly dashed inside before closing the door angrily. She grabbed her small pillow in the van and covered her face, starting to scream out her anger, her pain.

"Not the results I was expecting." Her manager mumbled as he drove off.

***

Mark sat there dumbfounded if he had just saw his girlfriend stomp out his company building. He shrugged and smiled at the petite girl in front of her.

"Gege, gomawo for helping. Nai nai's really sick right now and I-I just don't know what to do." The petite girl spoke in a depressing tone.

"Gwaenchana, take care of nai nai alright. Stop working at night too, since your brother isn't there anymore. He's going to be back so don't worry." Mark soothingly spoke to his cousin who he spotted among his fans crying on the side walk.

"Mm." She snuffled.

"Study hard alright, just don't overwork yourself." Mark sweetly smiled at the girl who smiled and nodded back.

***

After bidding goodbyes, Mark went back to the practice room where the guys were gathered partying for their first success in their new song.

"Oh, hyung you're finally here." Junior smiled. Mark smiled and nodded.

"Hyung I think this was for you. Looked like it was accidentally placed in my bag since I switched bags with you." Jackson took out a small white note and handed over to Mark who plopped down between Jackson and BamBam.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at it before he opened the note to make his eyes widen.

"W-When did you get this?" Mark asked staring at Jackson.

"Just a minute or 2 ago. Looked like your little girlfriend wanted to congratulate you secretly." Jackson wriggled his eyebrows. Mark bit his lower lips as he tried thinking everything.

*So it was Bora, I wasn't wrong. She probably put this in the bag back at Inkigayo. W-Wait t-then that means...*

Mark looked at his watch as his eyes widen. 6 hours passed, if Mark just saw her a while ago then right away he knew she waited for 3 or 4 hours. Mark quickly shot up as he dashed towards the elevator rapidly clicking the up arrow.

"Come on, come on." He hurriedly repeated. When the elevator dinged, Mark went inside right away and started beating up the highest number for the floor under the rooftop.

When he arrived he quickly ran up the stairs and slammed the door opened. Looking from his left to his right he felt his heart drop. Slowly, he approached the small set up table to find packed food and a small box.

Mark sat down on the cold metal chair as he opened the packed lunch to find it deliciously decorated.


A smile crept upon his face knowing she must have been up early morning to just make the two bentos. He chuckled at how cute the rice was made. His eyes then diverted to the small bow.

Opening the box to find another note with...

Promise rings. He gulped as he set the box down and opened the note.

Happy 5th year anniversary my love!!!!! I'm so happy and glad to have you in my life, I swear if I never met you I would have no idea what life would be like.
I can't live without you. No matter how much I say I love you its always never enough. Words can't explain how much I love you Mark.
You're my light, my knight in shining armor, my prince charming. You are, my dreams, my smiles, my laughter, my everything.
Thank you Mark, for crossing my path and entering my life. For loving me for me and always sticking with me.
I know we're always busy because we're idols but I will still love you even if we're idols or not. I want to walk with you until the end. I wanna stay in your arms, your warm embrace.
I just want to stay by your side, to cheer for you, to give you strength, to be your smile.
So Mr. Handsome, this is a present that I wanted to give for while but didn't know if it was the right time even though it's been five years.
Because I love you too much and I really want to know that you'll stay mine, here's a promise ring. It's simple, but it means a lot. I bought chains too if you didn't want to we're it on your hand so the media would freak so much but still my love, I promise to always stay by your side and love you until the end.
Saranghae Mark Tuan!!!!!

Mark brightly smiled after reading the note, he quickly pulled out his phone and dialed Bora's number. After the third ring, she answered.

"Ba-" He was cut off from another voice.

"She doesn't want to talk to you. She said it's over, she's done with you. Don't call her ever again Mark. Bye." He sat there in shock hearing everything, he couldn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it.

Mark quickly dialed her number once more, again after the third it answered. Before the voice could speak Mark quickly interrupted.

"Ani, I-I don't understand. W-What did I do? I know I came late but it's because I didn't see the note. Bora baby please listening to me." Mark was panicking as he was trying his best to answer to only get shut off from. Mark looked at his phone as the other already ended the call.

All the girls were comforting Bora who was crying and screaming into her pillow feelings so betrayed. Hearing his voice she cried even more, even louder.

"C-Come on Bora, h-he doesn't deserve your tears." Dasom softly spoke as she sooth her back.

"Please Bora, stop crying." Soyou desperately says as she was stroking her hair. However the girl didn't listen she ignored them. She never felt so heart broken before, she never felt what it was like to lose a close once again. She threw all those pain away to only earn more deep pain then before.

"Let it out Bora honey, let it all out so the next day we all can start a new day. Tomorrow will be better then today." Hyorin wisely spoke while patting her head. She told the other two to leave as she tucked Bora in bed. Hyorin sat next to her body as she stroke her hair and hummed a sweet melody.

Slowly Bora cried herself to sleep.

***

Mark's been trying to call Bora over and over again to only receive that the phone's been turned off. She kept trying and trying yet nothing was heard.

"Bora please." He begged as he continued to call to only receive a call from his fellow members.

"Hyung where are you, manager hyung told us we're going back to the dorm." Junior spoke threw the phone.

"A-Alright." Mark hanged his head as he took the red box, note, and the bentos before leaving the rooftop with a shattered heart.



*



It's been two weeks since the incident and Bora still ignored Mark's calls. Mark slowly slipped into depression as he felt like he was slowly dying inside. Never have he touched the lunch box. He left it there in the fridge not wanting to eat it or throw it away.

"You guys we should do something. If hyung continues to go like this then he's going to get more sick." BamBam worriedly whispered to the other worried members as they stared at Mark's back who lied on his bed facing the wall.

"B-But what are we going to do? Bora's not answering anyone's call except for her members and her manager. That's about it." Yugeom pouted.

"Just give it a little more time. If it gets more serious then we'll do something." JB spoke as he glanced at Mark once last time before heaving a sigh.

Bora's been trying her best to move on but she just couldn't stop thinking about everything. She missed the goodnight calls and the good morning texts. She missed chatting with Mark, she missed hearing his voice, his laughter.

Every time she wanted to erase their pictures on her phone, she would instead break down seeing how happy she was with Mark. She wished so badly to turn back time, she wished so badly to not see Mark with another girl, to wait 3 hours for him. She wished that she could have just told Mark face to face instead writing a note.

To be honest she hated it, she hated it so much that she felt like she was dying inside. Even though she smiles for her fans, she crying inside. Even though she's laughing, she's dying a little by little inside. She wanted the pain to leave, to disappear.

She wanted him back, she wanted to be in his arms once more. To see his sweet smiles, to embrace him, to kiss him, to just be with him. But every time she thought about him, that scene, that very scene would flash through her mind like nothing.



*



One day Mark felt claustrophobic and felt like getting some air so he secretly went out the dorm. Pulling up his hood to cover his face he naturally escaped from the exit door and away from the crazy fans.

Little did he know someone was following him. Mark continued to walk randomly around the block as he didn't even know he was going.

The streets were barely lighten as there weren't many light poles. Mark continued to walk until he froze on spot.

"STOP!!! PLEASE!!!!" A girl cried from a distance. Mark looked up and watched as he saw a girl be pushed into a dark alley. Mark started picking up his pace as he reached the alley and peeked his head from behind the wall to find 2 men hovering over a school girl.

He squint his eyes as they widen quickly recognizing the girl, his cousin.

"J-Jehbal, d-don't do this. J-Jehbal." She cried helplessly. Mark was about to dash in as he froze when one of the guys took out a pocket knife.

"Now, why don't we see what's under your pretty little shirt." The man spoke as he kneel in front of the girl and in a swift move cut open her shirt revealing her bra.

"Oh, I like polka dots. Let's you know she's innocent." The other spoke as he disgustingly smirked. Mark quickly ran in as he turned the man who still stood along with a good punch to the face making him fall.

Mark then kicked the other making him hug the ground.

"Ya! You little fucker!" He quickly got up as he swung at Mark but missed. Mark threw a punch and immediately hitting the guys straight on the face. Mark then ran to his cousin who was crying hugging her knees.

"Gwaenchana, it's me Mark." He whispered as he helped her up. She burst into tears as she hugged Mark tightly.

"Aish this little fucker really wants to die doesn't he." The second man spoke as he was popping his neck. The one with the knife glared dangerously at Mark as Mark used his body to block his cousin.

"Leave." Mark sternly spoke to only earn sarcastically chuckles from the two.

"We will after we get what we want." The second man said with a cocked eyebrow.

"Oh wait, you look familiar." The one with the knife spoke as he bend over to get a better look at Mark's face. "Omo, I know you. You're an idol. W-What was that group called?" He knitted his eyebrows together as he thought about Mark's group.

"Oh Got7!" The second man shouted with a proud smile.

"Oh, that's right, that's right. Aigoo, it's such an honor to meet a idol." The man with the knife smirked.

"Wait isn't this a scandal. What are you diong out here by yourself Mr. Idol-nim?" The second cockily asked. Mark just scoffed annoyed.

"I said to fucking leave!" Mark shouted angry as he was done with the two. Both just blinked at him before burst out laughing.

"Well give us the little girl babo, that's all we need." The man was playing with his pocket knife. Mark clenched his fist and clenched his jaw angrily.

"Oh he's mad, ya he's mad." The second says while hitting the other on the chest making both laugh at Mark. Not taking his tolerance anymore Mark swung at the second guy punching him on his face.

The first guy quickly tried to dodge Mark's punch but failed as he was punched and hit the brick wall hard. The second guy turned Mark over as he landed a punch on Mark. Making Mark turn and everything suddenly stopped.

Mark's eyes were widen so was his cousin and the two guys. The first guy pushed Mark off of him as he stared down at his hand with the knife covered in dark red.

"Fuck, run!" The second shouted as the two men dashed out the alley. Mark looked down at his stomach as he saw red slowly covering his body. He collasped.

"Gege!" His cousin quickly held Mark in her embrace. "Gege!" She cried. Mark looked up at her and back down at his injury as his hand was resting on top.

"X-Xiaohua." Mark breathe out. Mark looked back at his bloody stomach. "B-Bora." He suddenly thought about the love of his life as he was scared of not seeing her anymore. He wanted to so badly see her once more, because he thought it might be his last.

"Hyung! Hyung! It's Junior, hyung. K-Keep your eyes open. The ambulance it coming!!! Hyung d-don't close your eyes.!!!" Junior shouted shaking Mark as his eyelids were slowly closing.

"B-Bora. B....Bora." Mark breathe out as he was looking at Junior. Junior stared at Mark with a teary face. "I-I w.... want to...... to s-see B.... Bora." Mark breathe. Junior nodded his head as he cried.

"S-Stay here with Mark, the ambulance is alomost here. I-I have to go somewhere. I-I'll be back hyung. I'll bring Bora." Junior spoke to Mark as Mark weakly smiled and nodded his head. He watched as Junior dashed out the alley and turned the corner. 5 seconds after Junior turned the corner Mark's eyes closed.



*



"Mark, Mark are you awake?" He knitted his eyebrows as his eyes were slowly opening. There his cousin stood smiling down at him. Right away he felt a pain shock his whole body making him yelp in pain.

"Mark!" That voice shouted as it gripped his hand tightly. Mark looked to his other side and there she stood looking dead worried as there were dried tear stains on his face. He weakly smiled as his hand reached up and cupped his face.

"B... Bora." He softly said her name as the girl moved closer to him with newly tears streaming down her face, she nodded her head.

"I-It's me Mark. I-I'm here." She cried as she was holding his hand that was cupping her face. "I'm here." She cried as she cried more.

"D-Don't cry, please." Mark worriedly stared at the women he was madly in love with. She bitterly chuckled as she nodded her head.

"I was wrong Mark, I was wrong. N-Neomu mianhae Mark. I was wrong. I-I misunderstood you." Bora cried as she hanged her head. Mark weakly smiled as he shook his head.

"A-Ani, I-I was wrong. I-I should have came earlier. I should have came." Mark softly spoke as his own hot tears streamed down his face. Bora stood there by his side shaking her head vigorously.

"A-Ani, I was wrong Mark. I-It was me who did wrong. I should have texted you or called you instead of writing a stupid note." Bora held onto his hand tightly. Mark again shook his head as he was trying to sit up now. Quickly Youngjae who was closer helped him up.

Mark bit his lower lip enduring the pain. He then let go of Boa's hand as he reached to the necklace around his neck and pulled it off. There at the bottom of the chain was the two couple rings. Bora stood there wide eyes.

She watched as Mark slowly took off the two rings, grabbing the small size, he grabbed Bora's left hand and slipped the ring on. He then slipped on his own ring before he slowly looked up at Bora who stood there speechless.

"B-Bora, happy late 5th year anniversary. I-I love you so much that words can't explain how much I love. You're the most precious and treasured person that I love. We have our ups and downs but I will always love you no matter what. I'll walk until the very end with you hand in hand, side by side until fate decides for us to break apart. For now let this ring combine our love together to become stronger as our day goes by. Until the day I buy a real ring and propose to my lovely girlfriend. Forever I'll love you non-stop and never let you go. I'll make you happy, smile, laugh, and cry tears of joy. I'll make you feel love and never feel alone. I was wrong for leaving you by yourself on our anniversary. Mostly I'm sorry for not even saying anything about our anniversary to you when you were right there in front of my eyes. I love you Bora, so much that I felt like I was dying slowly when you ended it. I felt my heart repeating-ly being stabbed multiple time non-stop. My whole world crashed. I wanted to so badly leave this world as if there was nothing to live for anymore. As if everything I had suddenly disappeared into thin air and drifted with the wind. You have no idea how many times I wished that I could just disappear into thin air along with the cold wind. How I could have just died in that alley so the pain would stop. Being stabbed really doesn't hurt as much as my heart does. You're my only light in this dark and scary world. You're the only thing I have to feeling alive. You're my happiness, my smiles, my laughter, my tears of joy, you're my everything. I love you Bora, so much, and I wish we can get back together. To love each other. I missed your voice so badly, your smile, your laughter. I missed you. Happy anniversary my angel."

Bora was crying her eyes out as she listened to each and every word that escaped Mark's lips. After his touching speech she immediately wrapped her arms around Mark sobbing.

"I-I l-love you t-too M-Mark. I-I love you s-so m-much." She said between her sobs. "I love you." She whispered as she snuggled Mark closer to him.

Despite the pain from his stomach he could have cared less because his girl was finally back in his arms. In his embrace. He smiled as tears escaped from his eyes. He pushed Bora away a bit to get a look at her teary yet beautiful face.

He sweetly smiled at her as he caressed her cheek and rest his forehead against hers.

"I love you too Bora, forever and for always." Mark pecked her forehead before he kissed her nose and cupped her face with both his hands staring straight into her eyes. He brushed away the tears before he leaned in and gently placed his lips upon hers.

Everyone stared in awe as the girls were sniffing from the touching scene.

***

"It was total hell when you didn't answer my calls." Mark whined as he was holding Bora in his embrace. The latter chuckled as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Mianhae, I should've let you explained." Bora guilty spoke only to earn a chuckle from the latter.

"Ani, gwaenchana. At least I have you back in my arms now then it's all good." Mark grinned.

"I seriously thought that you were cheating on me." Bora looked up at Mark who looked down at her.

"Cheating? With who?" Mark furrowed his eyebrows as he was confused.

"When I was leaving your company building I saw you with another girl and I thought you were cheating on me. However when I came running to the hospital with the guys the girl told me she was cousin and immediately I felt bad because I thought wrongly of you." Bora explained to only earn a chuckle. "Ya, why are you laughing?" Bora sat up straight as she wasn't leaning against Mark anymore.

"Because what's the point of cheating when I have the most beautiful girl in the whole world. All I'll be doing is throwing a diamond away and picking a rock." Mark explained as Bora shyly smiled hearing his explaination. Mark then pulled Bora back down against his chest carefully because of his wound. "I love you too much to cheat on you." Mark cheesily grinned earning the latter the laugh at his cheesy remark.

"I love you too." Bora pecked his cheek as she sweetly looked up at Mark.

Notes

So I decided to write a special chapter because you guys are amazing!!!!! Like seriously, I saw this story getting 72 votes and 108 subscribers and I just couldn't be enough thankful. I'm seriously really thankful for all the love you guys gave me on this story and I promise to continue to write amazing storied for you guys!!!!~ Plus I'm still new to this writing story and still improving so really, really thank you all for the love guys!!!!~ Saranghae!!!!!!!~ Gamsahambnida!!!!!!!!

(Another Mark Spam Lol)


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