~I Can't Love Him~

~Author's POV~

*One Year has past*

You've became more skinnier and pale. You always covered up your face, your body away from people. Too scared to show people your scars and bruises. In the past year, when you finally made the decision to move in with your biological father.

Pushing away all those people that you loved. To help protect them, away from your father. You've been beat many times which soon became daily by your father. If you did something wrong, or you did something that your father didn't like. He would certainly beat you.

As the days, months past by; you earned many money. However they would slowly disappear because of your father's previous gambling and drinking.

Every night you would cry yourself to sleep, however quietly. Not wanting your father to know, or else it would just become more worse. However then everything changed as the days past.

You held in all your emotions, no more emotions coming from you. Everyday you only kept a emotionless face. No more tears flowed down your face, no more smiles dare to show anymore, all your laughs disappeared.

You even became mute. Shutting away your voice. Whenever you talked, you could barely hear. You talked really quiet. Soft.

***

You were in the kitchen quickly preparing your father's breakfast. Right before he wakes up, in the past your father would wake up grumpy.

"Bora!!!" Your eyes widen.

*Shit appa's awake*

"N-Ne!" You yelled, even though you yelled. Your voice was still quiet.

"Come fucking here when I call for you!" He screamed. You quickly ran into his room.

"N-Ne appa." You hanged your head, standing in front of the door.

"Gosh, you fucking dumb ass girl. Go fucking get my beer!" He spat angrily. Your father always was drunk, that's what always brought him to beating you mentally and physically.

"A-Araseyo." You said softly.

"Go now, before I fucking throw this bottle at your fucking stupid head!" He yelled. You quickly ran back into the kitchen, quickly grabbing 2-3 beer bottles.

You then quickly ran back into your father's room, quickly putting the beer bottles onto the night stand next to him.

He quickly snatched a bottle away and opened it. Quickly chugging it down.

*The more you drink, the more your life is going to end*

You said in your head as you stared at the old man who now has a beer belly.

"What the fuck are you staring at!? Go give me my damn breakfast." He grumpy said while muttering something to himself.

You ran back into the kitchen. Putting everything on a plate and then ran back into the room. Quickly setting everything down for him.

"H-Here you are a-appa." You said while taking steps backwards.

You watched him as he ate his food. You weren't watching because you were hungry. The past few months, you got used to it. You never became hungry anymore. You were just staring because you were worried. Ever since the days past, your father's appetite changed.

You watched his every move as he moved the spoon with food on it, into his mouth. You then watched his face expression. You watched as his face expression soon changed into a bitter expression.

"Yuk!" He spit the food onto the floor. "What the fuck did you put in there!? Are you trying to fucking poison!? You little bitch!" Your father then grabbed the plate and threw it at you. Hitting your chest hard.

You bit your lower lip hard, preventing you from screaming.

"Huh? Are you crying right now? Are you fucking crying!?" He then threw a empty beer bottle at you. Making you fall onto the floor as your head began to bleed.

*Aish, fuck it hurts*

"Get the fuck up!" He yelled. You then slowly got up. Your breathing becoming uneven. "You fucking little dumb ass girl! Why did I take in such a stupid ass girl who fucking doesn't know how to cook!" He scowled.

You just gulped down your remaining saliva, not responding. Because if you ever talked back. You would just get worst. You take any of his crap anymore. His beatings, his yelling, everything.

"Are you fucking listening to me you fucking stupid girl!?" He spat. You just stood there. Something inside of you was just ready to explode. You were about to explode. You thought about everything, everything.

You were such a brave girl before, however you just randomly changed into a girl who was scared. Scared of everything.

Soon, you shut your eyes tight. Feeling your body ache from hitting the wall and floor hard. You slowly moved up onto your forearm. Your other free hand was on your stomach. You slowly looked at your father who was fiercely looking at you. If looks could kill, you probably be dead right there, right now on the ground.

"Were you not fucking listening to me!?" He said in a deadly voice. You just stood up, taking in all the pain. "Get the fuck out!" He screamed as he pointed towards his door. You just heaved a sigh and quickly left his room.

Going straight to your room. You closed the door, your breathing still uneven. Quickly you moved on your own. Quickly grabbing your suitcase, opening it and throwing all your clothes into it. Moving all around the room. Grabbing things, and throwing them into the suitcase.

***

When night came and your father was asleep again. In a deep sleep.

You quietly and slowly came out of your room. You closed the door quietly, making sure that it wouldn't wake your father up.

Quickly passing through the living room, you quickly went out the door. Closing the door as quiet as possible. You ran down the stairs of the building. Off to where ever you could go.

***

Walking in the streets, you were the only one. Your hoodie covering your face, your body. You kept walking until you couldn't walk anymore. You felt your legs weaken at each step you took.

Soon, your pace became slower. Your vision became blurrier. You found a dark alley, quickly you went into the alley and hid yourself.

Your head hurt so much from before, when you were hit in the head with the beer bottle. Soon your vision became all black.


***Next Day***


You slowly woke up from the bright light that was showing. You slowly then sat up looking at your surroundings.

*W-Where am I? Ugh, my head.*

You held your head as you sat there for a while until your head shot up from hearing a voice.

"Feeling any better?" A man said while approaching you with medicine in one of his hands and water in the other.

"Uh... " You dosed off. He chuckled.

"Wondering where you are right now? Don't worry. Your in a safe place. I found you knocked out in a alley, so I brought you here. Does your head still hurt? I brought some pain killers for your head. I got a doctor to come and help cure your bruises, scars and your head." The man said while sitting opposite of you. You just stared at him confused.

*Did he seriously just read my mind?*

"Wondering who I am?" He chuckled again after seeing your confused daze.

*He just read my mind again!*

"I'm Kim Si-Dae. CEO of Starship Entertainment. May I ask something?" He looked at you with curious eyes. You just nodding unknowingly. He then smiled. "How come you have so many bruises and scars?" Your eyes widen.

*D-Did he look at me body!?*

"No! Don't worry. T-The doctor told me about it. I-I didn't touch you or anything." He bitterly smiled. You then nod your head.

"U-Uh. I-I was.." You didn't know what to say.

*Should I tell him about appa? Wait, that man is not my appa! I can tell him! H-However he's a stranger. But then he did tell me who he was.*

You bit your bottom lip.

"Don't worry, I just want to help you. The doctor said it was serious." Mr. Kim said sincerely. You took a deep breathe before explaining everything.

***

"Wow, I-I'm so sorry. It must have been hard for you. However your strong to still be living here right now." Mr. Kim said with a small smile.

"Y-Yeah. I... it was hard for me to endure everything." You heaved out a sigh.

"Well, if your willing you can come to Starship Entertainment. I'll talk it over with the owner. You should move on. Start a new life. If only you are willing to?" Mr. Kim looked at you serious.

*Start a new life? Being an idol? S-Should I?*

You thought for a bit. You didn't have any talents. Or that's what you thought.

"Still thinking?" Mr. Kim said looking at you. You just sheepishly smile, with a nod. "Well-" He was cut off when his phone rang. "I'll be right back. Listen to music and relax your mind." He smiled and left the place.

***

You just sat there, not even doing anything. You turned on music just listening to random music.

Soon three girls walked into the room.

"Oh, nuguseyo?" A girl asked looking at you puzzled. You just stared at them.

"You can't perhaps be Mr. Kim's girlfriend?" Another asked shocked. Your eyes widen.

"Ani. Ani, ani, ani. M-Mr. Kim just helped me. T-That's all." You quickly explained. They nod their heads with their lips partially opened.

"Do you mind if we sit with you?" Another girl asked nicely. You just shook your head. They smiled and sat down.

"So, what's your name?" The first girl who talked asked.

"Bora, K- I mean Yoon Bora." You slightly smiled. They smiled with a nod.

"I'm Kim Hyo Jung. However my stage name is Hyorin." She smiled brightly at you.

"I'm Kang Ji Hyun but my stage name is Soyou." She eye smiled at you.

"And I'm Kim Dasom. Just Dasom and that's it." She chuckled. You just quietly chuckle and nod your head.

"Nice to meet you all." You smiled.

"Your really pretty when you smile." Hyorin commented. You just smiled brighter.

"Gamsahanmida." You smiled.

"Ey~ Stop the formal stuff. Just call us unnie, unless your older." Dasom just said a bit confused.

"When were you born?" Soyou asked randomly.

"1990." You just spoke out without hesitation to tell strangers you just met. Their eyes widen.

"You're older then us then." Hyorin eye smiled. You just nod your head. "Guess your the unnie then." They all chuckled while you just nod your head.

"Hey! Do you think you could help us on a song? Like do the rap part." Dasom asked using her aeygo. You just bit your lower lip.

"I-I guess. I could try." You shrugged. They all smiled.

"Great some with us." Soyou smiled happily.

***

***In the Recording Room***

"Ok, here is the song lyrics. Your part is here. Araseyo?" Dasom said while showing the song. You just nod your head.

"Bora, you ready? Try it." Hyorin said with a fist in the air showing for encouragement. You just smiled and nod your head.

***

After some practices you finally were recording.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xirPaQG6llc

(A/N: Bora's part is 1:32)

***

"Whoa, you were really good!" Dasom squealed. You just chuckle.

"Mhm, daebak." Soyou smiled.

"Jjang!" Hyorin said with a eye smile and her thumb up.

"Gomapdah guys." You chuckled.

"Seems like you can get into the entertainment. Now, we'll just have to see you dance. These girls can help you." They cheered while you just chuckled.

*Guess I'm already starting new.* You thought with a smile.

Notes

Hoped you guys liked this chapter. I feel as if this chapter sucks. But yeah, more chapters soming your way!!!

(A/N: Kyaa!!! His smile!!!!)