~I Can't Love Him~

~Your POV~
I just froze staring back at Xiumin's eyes. For some reason I couldn't turn or look away from his. I was caught in his eyes. 'What the hell is happening right now? Why can't I move!?' I bit my lower lip. Then I heard someone call me.

"Bora! Since your new, you stay here with Xiumin and watch him so you can learn. Araseyo?" The manager yelled out. I just bow and gulped down my saliva when I looked back at Xiumin. I slowly approached him. My heart started beating faster as I slowly approached Xiumin. One more step and I'm standing right next to him. I just take a deep breathe and stood right next to him.

"You work here now?" Xiumin kept looking at me.

"Mm. Just pay attention to the customers." I said while looking away from him so I don't make eye contact. Xiumin just turns and look at the customer who was standing there for a long time.

"Annyeonghaseyo. Mianhae for making you wait." He smiled brightly. I still kind of felt awkward to standing next to Xiumin again. I just kept playing around with my fingers while biting my lower lip. I didn't want to look up and make eye contact with Xiumin's. So I just stood there looking down and playing around with my fingers. Then someone grabbed my hand and made me stop. I looked to see where the hand was from and my eyes widen. 'Why did Xiumin just grab my hand?' I was kind a panicking.

"Calm down a bit. Your making the customers feel weird." Xiumin whispered to me. I just nod my head innocently. "Now look up and show a smile. You need to do that so more customers can come." I looked at Xiumin, then smiled in relief. So then I faced the customers and put on a bright smile also. I can feel that Xiumin was smiling at me. We both stood there smiling and taking orders. I felt happy (and kind of relief) for Xiumin to be working here with me. Then someone called for a waiter. Guess I didn't know much about the cashier thingy yet so I was going to go. When I took a step I notice that something was holding onto me. I turned back and saw Xiumin still holding onto my hand. I looked up at him and we made eye contact. Right at that moment I felt like it was just us two in the world. 'Do...do I still have feelings for him?' I felt my lips trembling and my hand getting sweaty. We just kept looking at each other.

"What do we have here? Coming back together?" We both looked up in shock to see Chanyeol and Kai looking at us with teasing eyes. I quickly pulled my hand back and clear my throat.

"What are you two doing here? On your cute little date?" I bitterly smiled while rubbing my arm up and down.

"Mwuh? Date?" Kai looked at me shocked.

"Mm, date? Did you not hear me?" I glared at him.

"Yeah, our date here today is to come stalk you two love birds." Chanyeol smirked. I just coughed on my spit.

"Yeboseyo!?" A lady yelled. I just snap back into reality and quickly walk over to her. But when I was about to Xiumin grabbed my arm.

"I'll do it. You probably still don't know what to do." Xiumin smiled and walked away leaving me dumbfounded.

"Mwuh? But I still could learn." I rolled my eyes and go back behind the cashier.

"I thought you said you guys aren't dating anymore." Kai glared at me.

"We're not. Now what are you guys here for?" I glared back at them.

"We're-" I quickly cut off Chanyeol.

"Oh your date huh." I smirked.

"Ya! We're not here on a date!" Kai shouted out.

"Sh, your freaking causing a scene right now." I covered Kai's mouth.

"Bora is something wrong?" The manager walked out of the kitchen. I quickly push Kai away and quickly paste a fake smile on my face.

"Aniya, gwaenchana." I kept smiling and both Chanyeol and Kai roll their eyes.

"Getting better at the cashier?" The manager looked at me curious. I nod my head happily.

"Mm, Xiumin helped me a lot. I think I got the hang of it now." I (fake) smiled brightly. ('It's a good thing I can use Xiumin as an excuse for not getting in trouble.) The manager smiles and walks back into the kitchen. I let out a sigh and face forward.

"Ya, you just used Xiumin's name just to get out of trouble." Chanyeol glared at me.

"I just stared working here, so calm down." I glared back at Chanyeol.

"Well, you better buy me something then." My eyes widen. I turn to where the voice came from. Xiumin was leaning on the counter smiling brightly at me.

"Mwuh...mwuh rah...goo?" I was stuttering while looking at Xiumin confused.

"I said buy me something to drink then. You used my name didn't you." Xiumin smirk. I just scowled.

"Araseyo, since you even let me use your name." I looked away from Xiumin while pouting.

"Mwuh? Are you two love couples done talking? I want to take my order now." Kai scoffed.

"Araseyo omma." I scowled. After helping Kai and Chanyeol with their orders, it was my break and I went to hang out with them. It was weird (kind a) because Xiumin also had the same break as I did. We talked and talked and even laughed a lot. Also their were a lot of girls coming up asking for signatures and pictures. I would just sit there looking at them acting cute. I looked at my watch and notice that our break were almost over. So I got up when they were still taking pictures. I just roll my eyes and walk away. Right when I did Xiumin grabbed my wrist. I quickly turned around.

"Wae?" I glared at him.

"Where you going?" Xiumin looked at me confused.

"No where." I pulled my hand back and walk away leaving them dumbfounded. I walked and stood behind the cashier.

"Our break is already over?" Xiumin was walking towards me. I just nod my head and notice girls following him. I just roll my eyes.

"Ya, your little puppies are following you." I pointed behind him. Xiumin then stops and looks behind him and their were girls smiling happily at him. He just bitterly smiles and walks quickly over to me.

***Going Home***

I grabbed my things and went out the cafe. I stretched my arms and felt the soft breeze against my face. It felt so good. Then I felt someone's arm go around my waist. I quickly turned shocked. My eyes widen in confusion.

"Mwoyaa!" I yelled at Xiumin. He just chuckles and lets go. I cleared my throat and took a step away from him. "What do you want?" I said while looking away from him.

"You." I heard his soft voice, as if he didn't want me to hear it. My eyes just widen again. 'Nah!? What the hell is wrong with him?' I bit my lower lip.

~Xiumin's POV~
I felt so happy seeing Bora again. Ugh man she still beautiful as always. Even though it's been 4 years now, I still had feelings for her for some reason. I never erased her from my heart. I felt so bad ever telling her that we couldn't be together anymore because I had to move. I hated long relationships because I always knew that it's not going to work. After seeing her today I felt so happy. I felt as if my wish came true, I wanted to see her once again. She was even working with me. My heart couldn't stop racing. Every time I glance to look at her, I felt so happy. I really can't explain what I'm feeling right now. Finally the cafe was closing and I was saying my byes to the other employees. I turned around and saw Bora walking out. I quickly ran out and just wanted to scare her. So I slowly wrapped my arm around her waist. And she jumped like always. Her eyes widen, probably scared her too much. I just moved my arm away while chuckling. 'She's too cute.'

"What do you want?" She said with her cold tone. I just smile.

"You." I said out of no where. And I said it in a soft voice. 'Hope she didn't hear me.' I was in panic attack right now. That word came out of my mouth by itself. I glanced over to her and saw that her eyes widen. 'I think she heard me. Shit! Why did I say that!? Was I too happy seeing her again?' I bit my lower lip and acted like I said nothing. I quickly cleared my throat.

"So where do you live? I'll take you." I looked over at her and she didn't respond. "Bora. Yoon Bora." I kept walking with her. She was all silent. "Bobo!" I yelled out and she freaked out. She was about to fall until I caught her by the waist and pulled her close to me. Our chests were touching. Her eyes widen again.

~Your POV~
I couldn't believe what Xiumin just said. His word kept playing in my head. 'You. Does he still have feelings for me? I'm so confused and shocked. It's been 4 years. He has to get over me already though.' I kept walking biting my lower lip. I was totally blacked out. I just kept walking thinking about what his answer was.

"Bobo!!!" Xiumin screamed out. I jumped and accidentally tripped over my own foot. I was about to fall until Xiumin caught me by the waist. He pulled me up a bit and out chest were touching. My eyes widen again, but bigger this time. My heart started beating like crazy. I could also feel his heart beating fast. We kept looking at each other in the eyes. I couldn't look away, and I guess he couldn't also. We both were under the moonlight. I just gulped down my saliva. After a while of being in the same position, Xiumin helped me stand up straight. However his arm was still around my waist. Then I notice he was leaning closer to me. I still couldn't move, I wanted to move so bad.

"Xiu...Xiumin-ah." I stuttered looking at him shocked. He then snaps back into reality and lets go of my waist. I was breathing heavy. 'Holy shit that was close. He was just about to kiss me. He can't, I'm his ex. Why...why would this happen?' I quickly turned away and started walking.

~Xiumin's POV~
We kept dazing at each other. After a while, I helped Bora stand up straight. However for some reason I didn't want to let go of her waist. I then started moving closer to her. I saw that she was freaking out.

"Xiu...Xiumin-ah." She said with a little fright in her voice. I quickly stop and let go of her. 'What the hell is happening to me? Was I just about to kiss her? I do have feelings for her still, but it's probably weird or awkward. Ugh Xiumin why couldn't you get over her.' I bit my bottom lip. She then started walking again. I was just following her. We kept walking in silent, side by side. So I decided to break the silence.

"So, is your appa alright still?" I didn't want to look at her, because of what happened before.

"Uh...gwaenchana. Even though he still going to act like that forever. However I still love him." I smiled at her cute answer.

"That's nice. It's a good thing you still love your appa." I chuckled.

"How have you been? It's been 4 years since I last saw you. Get a lot of fans?" I looked towards her and saw her beautiful smile.

I then smile back. Her smile always made me smile.
"Gwaenchana. You?" I kept looking at her. She would look up at the stars and then back at me.

"Jeodohyo!" She said cutely. 'Man I'm dying right now just seeing her smile like this again. I feel like my heart is going to explode any minute now.' I smiled brighter.

"That's good. So what university do you go to now?" I looked at her curious. 'What is she goes to my university. I probably die.' She was hesitating for a bit.

"Forgot what it was called. All I remember that it's something university." She shrugged her shoulders and kept walking. 'You kidding me right now. I really want to know.' I did a little pout face.

"Well, I hope you do good in school." I smiled and patted her head lightly. However she would always hit it away from me. We started walking in silence again. Then someone's phone started playing 'Growl' by us. I took out my phone it wasn't mine. i looked over to her and her eyes widen. She quickly pulled out her phone. I just chuckled. She has our song as her ringtone. Cute. She quickly answered it.

"Oh, appa." She bitterly smiled at me. I just chuckled again.

"Bobo! baegopa!!!!!" I heard her dad yell through the phone.

"Seems like you left your dad without cooking him anything to eat." I smiled and teased her. She just glares at me.

"Appa, I'm almost home. Wait a minute and I'll be there. Araseyo? And don't touch anything!" She yelled. I just chuckled at her cute arguing. After a while we reached her home.

"Woah, you still live in the same house." I said while looking at her house.

"Mm. Gomawo for walking me home." She shyly said to me. I couldn't help but smile. 'Man I just want to pinch her cheeks.'

"Welcome!" I said brightly. She then smiles at me like I'm a idiot.

"Do...do you...want to come in for dinner?" She asked shyly. She was looking at the floor while asking. I just elbow her lightly and she quickly looks at me. I just smile and nod my head a little. We then both chuckle and walk inside. When we opened the door her dad was playing around by himself.

"Annyeong Mr. Yoon." I waved to him and he also waves to me.

"Oh, boazi!" He smiled brightly at me. He quickly ran over to me and hugged me.

"Should we play?" I looked at him and he nods his head happily. He quickly grabs my hand and drags me to the small living room. Bora just laughed and went to the kitchen. After a while of playing with Mr. Yoon. I sneakily went to the kitchen. Bora was cooking and she was ll focus. SO then I quietly and quickly went up closer to her. I wrapped both my arms around her waist and twirled her around.

"Ah! Xiumin put me down!!!!!" She was screaming. So then after one more twirl I put her down. She then started hitting me.

"Araseyo, araseyo. Stop with the hitting." I made my cute pouting face.

"Aish, you almost made get a heart attack." She scoffed. I just laughed.

"So what is the brilliant Bora cooking?" I looked at her food. It looked so good. 'Missed eating her food. Mm, it smells so damn good.' I bit my lower lip and looked at her.

"Something." She glared then chuckled. I helped her out with some stuff. Finally after cooking we three were eating happily. I felt like my other half was full. After we were eating I was also helping Bora wash the dishes. I would always mess around with her. I loved teasing her. We watched tv for a while and i helped carry Mr. Yoon upstairs to his room. We both tucked him in and walked downstairs.

"I had a lot of fun tonight I guess." She smiled brightly.

"I did too." I smiled brightly at her. I felt happy to be her reason to smile. It went quiet and it started to be awkward. 'Should I tell her that I want her back? I really do want her back to be mine again.' I thought for a while and then cleared my throat. She looked at me.

"Bora..." I bit my lower lip. She looks at confused and dumbfounded. "Bora I still have feelings for you, and I really want you to be mine again." I said quickly. I looked at her and her eyes widen. I notice that she was shocked at my sudden question.

"Um...I..." She was stuttering. I then knew that the answer was going to be no.

"Gwaenchana! If you don't have feelings for me anymore it's fine. I just had some over feelings left for you. However I hope we can stay friends. Best friends? I'll always be by your side when you need someone." I said shyly. She then relaxes.

"Mianhae. I...I just don't have feelings anymore. But anyways best friends!" She took out her hand. I just smiled and shook her hand.

"Araseyo! I'll be your oppa." I smiled brightly, however I was kind a sad. However I hope that she meets someone who can love her much more then me. I don't want to see her in tears, even if I'm not her smile anymore. I want her to smiled brightly everyday.

"Oppa? I don't know. Girls probably would try to kill me for calling you oppa." She crinkled her nose.

"Boazi oppa, since no one calls me that except you." I messed up her hair.

"Araseyo!" She yelled and fixed her hair. I just smiled.

"Well, I better get going." I patted her head and went out the door.

~Your POV~
For what Xiumin asked me, I was really shocked. I knew that my feelings for him already disappeared. I always loved him (well before we broke up). It hurt me very much when he said we couldn't be together anymore. So then after that moment when he left me. I did everything and finally I got over him. It really took 2 whole damn years to forget him. Because man he was the best I could ever wish for. But then my feelings went away with the wind. I couldn't or didn't want to take him back. Because he is going to be traveling everywhere, so then I know he hates long relationships so then we can't be together. I told him my answer and I knew that he was depressed. 'Ugh! I hate seeing him sad. I really do.'

"Gwaenchana! If you don't have feelings for me anymore it's fine. I just had some over feelings left for you. However I hope we can stay friends. Best friends? I'll always be by your side when you need someone." He said shyly and I could also hear the sadness in his voice kind of.


"Mianhae. I...I just don't have feelings anymore. But anyways best friends!" I took out my hand to shake his. Usually I don't like shaking hands with people however, it's Xiumin so it's fine. I only do it to people I know. He smiled back. After a few while of talking about me calling him oppa, I finally accepted him. And he's right, I was the one who came up with boazi. After he left, I quickly locked the door and went upstairs. I took a quick shower and slept. 'Gomawo Boazi oppa, for not being mad about me not accepting you. However since your going to be like a brother, I'll be very happy. And I hope that you will find someone who can make you happy and smile.'

Notes