Raindrops

She stares in the distance smiling at her friend’s happy façade. Long flowy dress hugs her tiny frame, light make up applied on her pale face.
“Yoon mi,” her friend calls her name and opens her arms for her. She gladly steps into the warmth of her friend’s embrace gladly accepting the heat radiating from the other girl’s body.
“You didn’t need to attend, did you know that. I’m worried about you, you’re falling…”
Yoon mi places a silencing finger on her friend’s lips.
“Congratulations on your wedding, Dahae.” She then hands the said girl a small box wrapped in silver gift wrapping paper and a golden ribbon on top.
“Don’t you want to see your best friend on your best day?” She then cracks a small smile which in turn Dahae reciprocates with a frown, she sniffles trying to contain the tears that are currently brimming in her eyes, Yoon mi embraces the other girl.
“Ssh” she coos “Hush, Dahae. Now’s not the time to cry, you’ll ruin your make up.” She tries to pacify the crying girl however her attempts are failures as Dahae cries even harder. She just couldn’t contain herself as of the moment. There are so many things happening in her life she’s having a hard time coping. Dahae’s husband, Jonghyun approaches them and comforts her wife. “I’m sorry about this Yoon mi.” He then hugs his wife closer to his body and lets her cry on his chest not giving a care that his wedding suit might be ruined.
“Say, are you going to the reception?” He asks while running his bony fingers through his wife’s brown locks.
Yoon mi answers with a shake of her head. “No, I just wanted to see my best friend and her beloved together on their wedding day.” She smiles “Now that I managed to see the both of you happy and smiling, I should go. Remember to protect her Jonghyun sshi, I wish you both, happiness.” She states. Dahae, who finally manages to contain her emotions, sweeps the other girl into a crushing hug. “Thank you so much for coming Yoon mi it meant a lot to me. And we understand.” She says. The both of us wish you good luck with your battle. She thinks but doesn’t say it out loud moreover Yoon mi knows in her heart her best friend’s wish for her: To recover. She offers the newlywed couple one last smile before turning her back and finally exiting the cathedral.
Bittersweet feelings surge through her, how she wishes to end up happy one day with the man she most loved nevertheless Yoon mi knows everything she wishes for as of the moment is frozen, she doesn’t know if she can still live to fulfill her dreams.
She subtly walks to her car, meanwhile pain creeps at her system causing her to halt, pain is shooting at the back of her skull. It hurts, it hurts so much. With much difficulty she manages to reach her car and beep the car’s alarm she then steps inside and rests her throbbing head on the steering wheel. Cases like her sudden migraine occurs to her every now and then and her doctor strongly advised that she should stop and wait for it to subside before attempting to continue what she is doing, which as of now, is driving.
Once the pain subsides, Yoon mi fixes herself and inhales deeply, greatly helping her to calm down. She then starts ignition and the engine roars to life. On the way home, rain starts falling creating pitter patter sounds and Yoon mi can only smile bitterly as she steps on the gas without giving a care that the road she’s driving at is slippery and she might be caught in an accident. What is safety for?
She reaches her house, however it’s like more of a mansion to regular passersby, especially with the very big house in the middle of a large lawn and a mini fountain at the corner, tall gates surround the whole estate. To her, the place is full of wonderful memories she has to bury and forget. She removes her heels and kills the car’s engine she then steps out of the car barefoot and without any protection covering her frail body from the rain. She likes the feeling of wet grass tickling her soles and the rain on her cheeks. The pain on the back of her head surfaces again and she tries her very best to ignore it.
“Young miss!” a distant voice shrieks “What are you doing?”
Yoon mi struggles to make out the face of their old maid carrying an umbrella running to her.
“Young miss.” She breathes, “Come here you’ll catch a cold it’s bad for your health.” She tries to coax Yoon mi under the umbrella but the latter only holds up a hand indicating for the older lady to stop.
“I just want to be alone Mrs. Kim.” She gently pushes the said maid away with little hesitation on the latter’s part. The maid already knows how bad her disease is, and staying under the rain doesn’t help improve the younger girl’s condition nevertheless Yoon mi’s begging eyes made her do otherwise. She walks back to the mansion and ponders why her ‘young miss’ whom she had been serving for since young, decides to torture herself some more. With a sigh, she finally leaves the girl alone.
Yoon mi continues to enjoy the rain. She pirouettes like a ballerina on her first recital. Ballet has always been one of her hobbies and it pains her, the fact that she couldn’t continue the dance she had been practicing, ever since she was diagnosed. She makes another graceful twirl but she trips on her foot and loses balance. She braces herself for the fall, but before her back could meet the cold and wet ground, a strong pair of arms supports her preventing her from falling. The owner of the arms who have been watching her all this time, sighs, he hates seeing Yoon mi like this, weak and fragile.
Yoon mi opens her eyes and shocks sinks in to her as her eyes makes contact with another pair of doe eyes that she will never forget even when her body is lying cold in her grave. She couldn’t move.
No, why do you keep appearing when I’m always near getting over you. Her heart is in a state of euphoria but her mind is a crumpled mess, she doesn’t want seeing him again for it is very hard, impossible to forget about him and she badly needs to bury him before her heart completely takes over and causes the both of them pain and suffering.
Luhan helps her on her feet; on the contrary Yoon mi focuses her vision on the earth underneath her pretending it’s the best thing in this universe.
“What are you doing here?” She icily tells him. “You’re supposed to be in China, don’t you understand that I don’t want to see you ever again.” She states, her heart is breaking in every tiny little piece possible but she can’t give in to him, not now that she already managed to break his heart and leave him. She is determined to make Luhan hate her so that it would be easier for him to forget about the love they shared. Of course she has no capability of forgetting every beautiful moment she shared with Luhan but she had to do it for his sake.
“You lied to me Yoon mi.” he states. “You fucking lied to me!”
Her world shatters, he knows.
“What are you talking about Luhan?” She feigns innocence. “I don’t love you anymore, and I left you in Beijing because I wanted to.”
“Oh really, then what about that thing Kris told me.” He seethes “That you were diagnosed with Brain cancer!”
How did Yifan know? That’s impossible.
“Why do you believe him?” she denies. “Do you think he’s telling the truth?” Yoon mi glances up at the doe eyed man.
“Don’t lie to me Yoon mi, because I know.” The man sniffles and it further breaks Yoon mi’s heart. Luhan no, don’t cry. She badly wants to hold him and tell him sweet nothings to comfort him but she has to bitterly stand her ground.
“No Luhan, I’m perfectly fine. I left you because I don’t love you anymore. You can go, don’t show your face to me ever again.” She turns her back at him and bits the insides of her cheeks to suppress her tears. She can’t cry now.
“No, no.” Luhan grabs her shoulder and turns her around, locking eyes with her “Yoon mi, I know you’re lying please don’t do this to me. I love you Choi Yoon Mi and I know you reciprocate my feelings too.” Desperation is now oozing in his voice. “We can fight your disease together. Please don’t do this.” He hugs her tightly, we can’t tell whether Luhan is crying for the rain is still falling. Yoon mi pushes Luhan with much difficulty; it’s no use lying to him now.
“Look Luhan, as much as I want to but I can’t,” she halts letting her tears fall. “I will die Luhan, I lied to you so that you’d hate me and forget about me in turn it would be easier for you to accept my fate, I’ll die soon and you can’t do anything about it.” she says, “Now go, go back to China and find a better woman than me. I don’t deserve you...” She’s about to say another thing but Luhan stops her midsentence by pressing his lips against hers. A kiss in the rain, Luhan is pouring out every emotion into that kiss, every word, every feeling that he can’t show.
Yoon mi can also feel the longing in his kiss, she misses him with every fiber of her being hence she does nothing but responds to the kiss with equal passion.
“I don’t care.” Luhan states once they parted.
Yoon mi shakes her head “I’m sorry Luhan but I can’t. I’m doing this for the both of us. You can’t love me.” She then successfully turns and runs to the house without turning back. The remnants of her already broken heart shatter to pieces as she turns away from him. Yes, I still love you, so much I can’t forget about you I want to be selfish but I don’t want hurting you more, It’s better this way.

Notes