T-ara Camera Off

Nam Hwangjoo

Just a little time after making their goodbyes on the phone, Jihyun stopped by Sweet Chopsticks once again. Though it was hard for Hwangjoo, he tried his best to hide his emotions. The sight of her, the girl he loves, made time stop. Her eyes, her smile, Hwangjoo missed it all. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to cry. He wanted to tell her that he loves her so much. He wanted her back.
But never will any of that ever happen. Hwangjoo knows it… It’s always been clear to him. But isn’t it not a sin to dream? Isn’t everyone free to wish that the person they love would stay by their side one more time? One last time?
That day, Jihyun told him everything, the missions that are given to them and all… Once again he heard her apologize. He hated seeing her cry. He wiped her tears away with his hands. Hwangjoo knows he shouldn’t have, but what can he do? Can’t he wipe the tears of the girl who made him laugh, who made him cry, who made him feel important?
Jihyun gave him a hug before leaving. Hwangjoo wanted to make everything stop at that moment. He wanted them to stay like that forever. He didn’t want to let go, but he had to.
That night, it got Hwangjoo thinking. Everything that happened, everything they had, every words they spoke, every smile they made, every moment they shared, was it all a game? Was it all about this “mission”? Did Jihyun ever feel anything for him? Hwangjoo doubted it. Why on earth would someone like her fall for someone like him? She had everything, he had nothing.
Hwangjoo couldn’t stop his tears from falling as he thought of all the memories he treasured the most. Was it all a lie? He felt toyed. He felt fooled. He felt stupid. He hated himself, but not Jihyun. And he didn’t understand why. Somehow, it seemed like he understood her, like she didn’t do anything wrong.
All he knows is that he loved her. And never was that a lie.


Han Kyungsam

Saying goodbye was hard as much as saying hello is for Kyungsam. If he didn’t make her promise to go on separate ways that night, would’ve she stayed with him? Would’ve she held his hand? Would’ve she hugged him warmly? Would’ve she said she loved him too?
He tried to memorize the scene as Eunjung faced him for the last time. The girl that taught him a lot, the one that changed the way Kyungsam saw the world, the girl that he hated, the girl that he cares about now, Ham Eunjung.
He never wanted to forget anything about her, her eyes that he always loved, her smile, her scent. He never wanted to forget that day and the few days before that, those days when a miracle came in his life.
He closed his eyes when he got home replaying all that happened from the moment those water balloons left his hand.
“Kyungmi-ya~”, he thought silently. “Oppa did it. Oppa fulfilled your dying wish. You wouldn’t believe it Kyungmi-ya. I had a date with Ham Eunjung today and this isn’t a joke. I’m sorry for giving them a hard time. You must’ve hated me a lot. But don’t you worry, okay? Oppa will change now. Do you wanna know a secret? Oppa fell in love with T-ara Eunjung. I don’t know where this feeling would take me, or what it would cause me. But I’m not regretting it, and never will.”


Jeon Eunjo

Jeon Eunjo tried his best to pull himself together. That very same day that Soyeon left him, he went to his old company to show them his new song. They were so impressed and he was able to sell it in no time. He was happy that he got back his life. He was happy that even at least once, Soyeon came.
But even so, no matter what Eunjo does, he can’t forget that day he was able to play again, that day some letter mysteriously appeared on his window plane, he can never forget that day he wrote his song for her, for the girl that gave him back everything he lost, the girl that reminded him how to breathe, the girl that made him see the world the way he used to see it, the girl who gave him a second life.
Every time he’s at home, playing his piano, he can’t help but remember the last time she sat there with him. He remembers all those time that she sang for him. And every time he hears that song he wrote, that song they danced to, their song, everything comes back to him. Everything they had, memories that he still keep deep in his heart, moments that he’ll treasure for the rest of his life.
Every moment he’d wonder if she ever thinks about him too. He wonders if she still has that bracelet he gave her. He wonders if she ever misses those things that they used to do, because he does. And he misses it all so bad.
They’re still friends. And he can still see her from time to time. And every time he does, he’d give her a bright smile, just to let her know that he’s doing fine, though everything he ever thinks about is her. Sometimes he imagines a world, an alternate world, where they could be together, a world where they are free to fall. He makes himself believe that somewhere out there at some other dimension of the world, he and Soyeon are together, sitting in front of his piano, or maybe holding hands while walking on the street, or having a picnic at some park, or going on vacation at some beach. With those little thoughts, he makes himself believe that somewhere, he is happy, and very much more alive than he is right now.
Eunjo will always be there for her. No matter what, he’ll be there. Even now, he is there keeping all the memories they made. He replays everything in his head every day, so even if Soyeon forgets it, he’ll be there to remember it for her. And maybe someday, he hoped, just maybe… someday, if she ever changes her mind, they can just pick everything up from where they left it. Maybe…


Eric Kim

Stela… what a stupid name to come up with. That was the name of his old goldfish back when he was like five. Eric doesn’t have a girl back home. He dumped all the girls he ever dated… He dumped them before they could even dump him. He dumped them like the way he dumped Boram.
Eric could remember staring at the view of Seoul from Namsan Tower with the girl he liked, Boram. He remembered her apologizing saying she had to go. He remembered himself promising her that he’d show her his sketch as soon as he finishes it, a sketch that he never really got the chance to draw.
After finding the wristband Boram left in his pocket, he went after her. He saw her getting into some guy’s car. He got into a cab and followed. Eric couldn’t believe what he saw… what he found out. He asked himself over and over why she had to hide it from him. He would’ve still done the same thing, he would’ve still met her by the Han River, he would’ve still taken her out for dinner, and he would’ve still dated her. He would’ve still fallen for her.
But then, as he watched her perform on stage the next day, he remembered what she always mentioned to him about Korean artists, especially idols… “Things are never easy.”, she said. And at that moment, Eric saw things clearly. From the way she always kept her head low when people walk by, to the way she apologized to him.
Suddenly he understood everything. It finally made sense that he cannot be with her. Even if she says she loves him, she’s destroying her life by choosing him. Eric can’t do that to her, never. He can’t take away everything she worked hard for. He can’t let her throw everything away just so they can be together, he just can’t.
He rushed to the airport that night, making sure he gets there first before Boram. He put his shades on so she won’t see his swollen eyes. Eric’s heart broke as he felt Boram’s arms around his waist begging him to be with her, saying she loves him. For a moment, Eric wanted to forget it all. He wanted to escape it all. He wanted to run away with her someplace where they can be together. Maybe there, he could’ve told her that he loves her too.
Staring at a manga style drawing that looked like him, everything came back. A date by the Han River, a girl that looks like a traffic light sitting beside him, a date all over Seoul with the girl who bought him the best tteokbokki, and the view of Seoul from Namsan tower, a view he stared at with her.
He looked up at the night sky, and gave the stars a faint smile. He hoped that maybe those stars looking down at him could see her smiling back for him. “Hey…”, he whispered to them. “Will you tell her that I love her? And tell her never to love someone like me again. Tell her to forget about me. Wipe her tears away and tell her that I don’t deserve it.”
“Jeon Boram…”, he cried. “I love you.”


Kwon Namhae
“What are you playing at, kid?”, Namhae didn’t know what to do as he got to his house that day he and Jiyeon got back to Seoul. He opened his door to see his boss waiting for him, with a grim look on his face.
“You we’re with that girl…”, he said, dropping photos on his table. Photos of them together, walking around his hometown, playing on the water, holding hands, celebrating with his mom, everything was there.
Namhae’s heart stopped as he looked at the pictures. He felt fear, anger, and then rage. “How did you… Where did you get this?!!!”, he yelled.
“Don’t you raise your voice on me, you rascal!”, his boss yelled back to his face. “What… you thought I trusted you, you little b*stard?!!! I had someone following you… and this is what he got for me.”
Namhae found himself speechless. It was over. Everything was over. His dreams are gone. He’s gonna lose his job and Jiyeon is in a lot of trouble. He had to do something, but he didn’t know what. He felt so powerless, not even having strength to fight for his girl or even for himself.
“HOW DARE YOU!!!”, his boss went on screaming at him. “You thought I’d never find out? Huh? You seriously believe you have a future with this b*tch?!!”
Namhae felt blood rushed through his body as his boss spoke the words. “Don’t you dare speak of her like that!!!”, he yelled back before throwing a punch on the b*stard’s face.
It made his boss stop for a moment before started laughing. “Don’t I dare… to speak of her like that? Aren’t you the first one who said it all, kid? You even said it to the whole world… in your……… great articles.”
Namhae felt like he was shot in the heart. It was true. He was the one who said it first, he even said worse things. He made her look like sh*t in the eyes of the whole world. He made them all suffer. He was the bad guy here, and no one else. If there was anyone to blame it was him.
But he loves her. He even promised her to stop writing the articles. Remembering about it, Namhae found his strength to keep fighting.
“I’m gonna stop. I don’t wanna work for you anymore. I don’t wanna write those articles full of lies anymore! I quit!”, he said with all his courage.
The b*stard in front of him laughed hard like a villain before replying. “FOOL!!! You seriously believe that girl has fallen for you? What a fool, you are. I always knew you were… which is why I hired you… I knew you were the man for the job. A fool, who is stupid enough to tell lies and make people believe with every word he writes… that’s what you are, kid. You quit, you say? Oh please… who will hire a dumb-*ss like you?!”
“I AM NOT A DUMB-*SS!!!!”, he yelled back feeling so hopeless.
“I said don’t you raise your voice on me!”, his boss said as he slapped him hard on the face. “Go on… Try to walk away from this job and let’s see what happens to miss Park Jiyeon when these photos come out…”
Without hope, Namhae’s heart broke. There was no way out. It’s Jiyeon’s career on the line. If it was just dreams Namhae would consider, he would’ve just walked away, but this is Jiyeon’s life, this is Jiyeon’s dreams, her career, everything she ever worked hard for. Who was Namhae to destroy it all into ruins? He had no choice. He had no hope, no way out.
He dropped on his knees and bowed down to the person in front of him. “Please… I’m begging you… Please… not her…… I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything… just don’t….”
He heard him laugh at him one more time. “Good boy… very good… now, you’re learning. Little stupid low-class writer doesn’t want his little idol girlfriend to lose her job, huh? That’s so sweet…”
“Please… I’m begging you……… please… don’t.”, he kept on begging. He knew it was the only thing he could do. Even if it means not seeing Jiyeon anymore, or even getting her mad at him, he didn’t care. He had to do something.
“Okay… Here’s the deal boy… Work for me and the world won’t find out…”, he offered.
“Okay… okay… just don’t ruin her life.”, he said.
His boss laughed one last time before grabbing the pictures, leaving his house. “I’m afraid that is up to you, kid.”


Kang Jaehyung

Jaehyung received a call from his father late that night. “Wae-yo Apeoji?”
“You little b*stard! You crazy? First, you went against all my ideas and now you’re throwing away big opportunities for the company?! Have you lost your mind?”, Jaehyung’s never heard his father’s voice to be so mad at him like this.
“Appa~”, he called out in a faint voice. He’s never called his father like that for quite some time now. “I used to call you like that, didn’t I? Appa…”, the thought made Jaehyung smile on his own though he is still aware that his eyes are all swollen. “Mianhaeyo… for forgetting. Forgive me… I forgot our times together. I never had the chance to thank you for that. I didn’t want to make the same mistake… that’s why I ditched my meeting with the client…”
“Apeoji… this time, I don’t wanna forget. I just wanted to see her one last time. I wanted to thank her for everything… Our company has lots of VIP clients… your son is good at what he does, remember? That was just one client… many more will come.”, he kept talking, though his dad wasn’t saying a word. “You said it yourself, didn’t you? I should get a life… So, I did.”
“I thought I’ll never hear you say that, son…”, his father finally replied from the other end. “I’m so proud of you. And I’m sure your mom is too… Congratulations on your new life President Kang…”

JAEHYUNG’S LETTER TO HYOMIN~

Park Sunyoung,
I’m sorry I couldn’t meet with you face to face. That was a marvelous performance, what you did just now. Yeah, that’s right I watched you… like I promised. You didn’t seem like you saw me, though. Maybe you didn’t look close enough, because I was there… the bad-boy-looking guy with the leather jacket…
I just wanted to thank you for everything Sunyoung-ah… You don’t know how much you’ve done for me. I never thought something like this could ever come in my life… something like you… And I’m so thankful.
From this day on, I may or may not see you again. But I just want you to know that I’ll never forget you. Someday, I may become just some guy whom you once hang out with for 10 days, but I want you to know that I’ll always treasure those moments that we shared.
I remember you asking me, what my opportunity cost was of being what I am now. My answer back then wasn’t that sincere… the truth was, I really didn’t know. But now, I know one thing for sure… You, the opportunity of sharing something real with you, the possibility of being with you, that… will be the opportunity cost of everything I am now and everything I’ll ever be. You’ll be my biggest ‘what if’…
Though I don’t want it to be, this has to be goodbye. I know you don’t want me to say this… I was going to say it when we were at the rooftop, but you didn’t want me to. I know why… it’s because you’re scared. I saw it your eyes. You were scared because if I say it, it might give you a reason to leave me. But now… since one way or another, we’ll be leaving each other, let me say it even just once, okay?
I love you.
-Kang Jaehyung

Notes